When I was a little girl I was certain I wanted to be Tinkerbell  at Disneyland.   I wanted to wear that cute little green costume, fly over the parade down Main Street and sprinkle pixie dust… for the rest of my life.

As I got older, that dream changed.  I went from wanting to be an actress, to a marine biologist, to a dentist, to a teacher, to a cruise director, to a writer, to a travel agent, and eventually becoming a psychotherapist.

Phew! I’m so thankful for the opportunity to change directions with each pivot. A 50 year Tinkerbell would be a stretch.

(Sidenote: if you know someone who knows someone, I’m still up for the job!)

If there is one truth it is that we are entitled to change. As long as it’s for you… to make you happier, to bring you peace, to follow your truth and to make your  life better. Change only because it’s what works for you or your family. No explanation needed.

Whatever it is, lean into it — change your mind, try something different, change your goals,  change your major, decide to become sober,  change your music taste, your career, or to move into a new style, phase or life. Your change, your story.

Change isn’t just okay, it’s inevitable and essential. We are constantly evolving— learning, growing, and experiencing, and those things fundamentally change us. And it’s not a bad thing. People don’t  feel, think, act or believe the same at age 50 that they did at age 3, 15, 30 or even 45.

Staying the same never serves anyone. Suppose you never changed your hairstyle or your opinions, your clothing style or your even your underwear (yikes!!). How would that serve you? What would your world look like if you kept the same view of life now as you did when you were 15?

Everything that happens in life changes us in one way or another. All the events that happen are ingredients that get added into “our recipe” of who we are, who we are becoming and who we want to be.

Like cooking recipes, we add what we want and we take out what we we don’t like. It’s okay to change your recipe to fit your needs: if you want to be spicier, get uncomfortable. If you need to take the heat out,  add a pinch of something to tone it down.  Don’t like  feeling stressed, add a cup  of patience or compassion. Make the recipe yours!!

Claim your choices. Own who you are. Adjust if you need. Focus on resilience.

Make it your recipe, your story, your painting, your life.

Be your own Betty Crocker. Be your own J.K Rowling’s. Be your own Michelangelo.

This is your life. Your story. Paint away.