Self Care
Try a Better Response to “I’m Going to Therapy”
I have a thirty-something year old male client who is very successful in business. It took a lot for him to make the call for us to meet because he felt stigmatized within the business world for appearing weak or crazy. We have worked together for almost a year and...
The Four Seasons of Marriage
There is a local church in town that refers engaged couples to see me for four sessions before they walk down the aisle. Session one is always easy– Why marriage? How did you meet? When did you fall in love? Tell me about your families? What do you appreciate in...
The Journey of Grief
I couldn’t sleep the other night. I tossed and turned all night, unsure why I felt so uneasy and unsettled. Something was off and I couldn’t put my finger on it until I looked at my photo archives and it validated what I wondered. One year ago was the last day I...
True Goodness Makes No Noise
When good meets good, you create magic. I took my mom to visit my Dad this weekend. It’s her first Christmas in almost 60 years without him. She wanted to visit, sit with him, share what’s been happening, and tell him how much she misses him. We arrived at the...
Small Moments are Not Small
It was the start of the 4th quarter in a highly intense football game. I was sitting at the very last row—the tippy-top —by myself. I like to pace, not sit still when things get stressful so I often sit alone during those kind of games. At one point I looked left...
What Your High School Junior Knows
Dear Parents of High School Juniors, As someone who has the privilege of working with high school students every day, hear me out on this one. Sometimes things are so obvious that we fail to take notice. Please, please, please, stop telling your precious child that...
IYKYK
In March I joined the club no one wants to be in. It’s the club for those who lost a parent. It’s for those with a loss that hits you in your bones, a profound sense of emptiness that only those who have experienced it can understand. You can’t be in it until...
Little word, Big Impact
When is life ever going to go my way? I am sorry, I don’t know that answer. Nothing good ever happens to me. Yet, I replied. What? she asked with complete doubt. Yet, I said. Over the course of the next few months anytime she would say something applicable, I would...
The Longest Shortest 9 Months
We move them in— we move them out. It’s the longest shortest nine months What happens during the dash of drop off and pick up is a different kind of growth. It’s the kind of growth you can’t predict or prepare for and the kind of growth every young person needs....
No Goodbye Is An Easy Goodbye
They prepare you for the first goodbye. You know what to expect and you feel armed with tools to get you through. Lunches with friends, traveling, remodeling a room or two, finding new interests. It helps salve the parent-heart that suddenly feels so lost and...
