We define beauty. Society does not.

This past weekend I went to the Making Strides for Breast Cancer Walk put on by the American Cancer Society. It was inspiring to see survivors and those currently fighting breast cancer joined by their families and friends in solidarity and support. It was a sea of pink and an ocean of strength.

That’s when I spotted Michelle.

It’s not every day you see a topless woman wearing a tutu and perky pigtail’s, with a small gold strip around her chest where her breasts once were. I was in awe of her courage and knew she was a story waiting to be told.

Michelle was warm and open from the second I said hello. She told me that she was a 12-year breast cancer survivor and had implants following her double mastectomy. But they made her sick, so 5 years ago she made the decision to remove them and embrace a flat chest. People questioned her decision- some telling her she needed breasts to be feminine and attractive and others who commented that she got a “free boob job” so why would she turn that down?

But she stuck to what was right for her and has not looked back. She held up a sign on Sunday that said “Flat is the new pink”. She’s spreading the message that whatever a woman decides to do with her body following breast cancer is her right.

Society needs to keep its mouth shut. The public opinion box is closed on this topic.

She introduced me to Jessica, another inspiring survivor who was diagnosed with breast cancer at the young age of 30. These woman are part of a group called the “Sacramento Flatties”,
a community of people who fondly call each other “flatties” and aim to change the perception about the options after a mastectomy. They empower and validate if a woman declines or is medically in eligible for breast reconstruction. Their goal: support one another without judgement and for a woman’s personal choice to supersede what others deem as beautiful and feminine.

One thing was clear: Michelle and Jessica are both beautiful and feminine! They are true warriors. They accept their bodies and flat chests and celebrate the transformation that has been thrust upon them. They are empowered, informed and strong— the makings of powerful women.

Everyone is different, and no choice is wrong. The courage and determination of any woman who faces breast cancer is respectable. What to do with her body, should be her decision. We should celebrate her dignity, her body image, her confidence, her bravery and her story.

In Brené Brown’s book Daring Greatly, she says “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.”

Michelle and Jessica are the definition of vulnerability by proudly displaying their scars across their chest. They are survivors, but also alivers and thrivers. And those scars tell a story about not only what they have been through, but what they have MADE it through.

They fought like a girl- the greatest compliment given— and THEY defined their beauty.

Amen to that.