Last Sunday I did my mom’s grocery shopping. We usually run her errands on Fridays but I was gone and had not seen her in a few days. I went to Safeway and then asked if she wanted me to grab her lunch too.

We decided on sandwiches and she asked if I planned to stay for lunch. I told her I was sorry but I had too many things to do before work the next day but I would drop everything off shortly.

I assured her I got everything she needed.

When I arrived at her place, something spoke loudly and suggested something different. My heart told me that whatever I needed to do didn’t need to be done. My heart told me my mom mattered more than my to-do list. My heart told me to sit down, relax and have lunch with her.

Thank goodness I listened to what she really needed.

I unloaded the groceries and then joined her for lunch. We ate our sandwiches, telling stories, laughing and catching up but most importantly just enjoying the time together.

One thing I’ve learned from taking care of my parents is that the perception of time changes with age. Being younger often means feeling busier. As we age, we realize that slowing down is not only important, it is necessary for staying connected to the people we love. Our aging parents recognize that time is our most valuable gift, because they are unsure of how much time with us they have left.

It matters most.

Not groceries. Not material gifts. Not candles or flowers. Most older people will tell you they don’t need anything else in their life, just more time together.

Our parents—the ones who bathed and fed us, drove us around, sat at our games, invited our friends over, supported our dreams— simply want to feel a part of our lives.

It’s calming to them. And brings a sense of peace and purpose to their life.

My mom is considered to be in her twilight years. She may be in the last chapter of an amazing story. The day our loved ones will no longer be with us is out of our control. But for now, we can control the decision to spend as much time as possible with them.

In the book, The Giving Tree, at the end the tree says , “Well an old stump is good for sitting and resting. Come boy sit down sit down and rest”. The boy sits down, and it says, “And the tree was happy”.

One day that will be me, and I pray my kids will take the time to sit down and have a sandwich with me as well.

And I will be happy.
💛💛💛