It’s my pet peeve. Sounds silly because it’s just one word.

I know it’s meant as a compliment, but I’m coming clean. I am not a fan when someone comments the word “GOALS” on a social media post.

I see that word and I cringe.

Every.Single.Time.

Aren’t goals a good thing? Sometimes. But making a snapshot of someone’s life our “goals” is a set up for anxiety and disappointment. It is a romanticized perception through the eyes of a phone camera. Our brain tricks us into believing everyone is happier, skinnier and has more fulfilling relationships than we do. We assume their life is better than ours and it messes with our head. As humans we have a natural instinct to share our lives in an attempt to connect, but social media can become a validation hamster wheel-continually running but never arriving.

It’s a trap.

It becomes a competition of who has it best and who looks the best doing it—often leaving people feeling less than or not good enough. This vicious emotional cycle creates feeling inadequate, unattractive and unworthy. There is actually a coined term- toxic goals. When we set a goal based on requirements for future happiness, rather than because we want to or it excites us, it becomes a toxic goal.

In my office I see people on the other side of it. The behind-the-scene-suffering. The ones who feel immense pressure to maintain the perfect image to uphold the “goals” others have attached to them. I see smart, beautiful young people who are racked with anxiety trying to maintain their social media image. I work with “influencers” who are very normal people-imperfect and struggling- but feel pressure to keep their image up to the established ideals and impress every single time they post so others perceive them as maintaining the body/relationship/fashion/social standard.

While followers see someone bubbling in life, I see someone whose bubbles are fizzing out. It is exhausting and leads to an unhealthy level of pressure that feels suffocating.

What should be our “goals”? The person in the mirror. The person looking back at you. The person you wake up to every day and have to live with for the rest of your life. Our goals should be about personal growth and progress, not comparison. Don’t artificially compare yourself to someone else’s moment. And I say “moment” because no one has a perfect life all the time. Don’t make their highlight reel your standard.

Set goals for what brings YOU happiness. Do what makes YOUR heart sing. Life is not measured by numbers: likes, followers, dollars or pounds. It is measured by learning to love who you are, working for what you want and appreciating what you have.

The next time you think of commenting “Goals,” check yourself. Don’t place that pressure on them and don’t place that expectation on you. There are so many other positive things we comment with. Focus on your own journey of becoming the best version of yourself and making YOU the goal you strive for.
💛💛💛