Every Christmas my husband writes me a poem. It’s cheesy and sentimental—a combination of humor and love. There’s no monetary value but it’s a priceless gift.

It makes me feel loved.

Almost everyone knows the 5 Love Languages theory. This idea that we express and feel loved through one of five ways: Acts of service, Quality time, Words of affirmation, Physical touch and Gifts.
Learning the different LL’s is beneficial—whether it be with your partner, friend, colleague or even your teenager.

If I bring up the LL’s with clients, people are quick to say “Gifts is my bottom. I’m not superficial or materialistic.” They look down on that particular LL and believe that someone who values gifts is only interested in a physical object or expensive gesture to show love.

I disagree- and it’s why gifts are the most misunderstood love language.

Gifts, as a LL, is not all about receiving, but about giving as well. That’s the part that speaks to my heart. While acts of service is my key LL, gifts rank high.

Gasp! Please don’t judge me or call me shallow. Hear me out.

It’s not about the monetary value but the symbolic thought behind the item. There is a deeper meaning that goes beyond the actual gift – it’s my way of expressing love through thoughtfulness and intentionality. It’s a tangible expression to express how much I appreciate someone.

It’s an important part of how I connect.

I love to give gifts- big, small and unexpected. I want to make people feel seen, acknowledged, and loved. I try to find personal gifts with the goal of making people feel special.

It’s my language of love. No shame here.

If someone you love speaks the language of gifts, embrace it. Don’t judge or mistake it for materialism. Receive their love and be mindful to take note of the things they like. Pay attention to subtle hints or cues and surprise them every now and then with a little “just because” gift.

Research has shown that offering thoughtful physical gifts to others can lead to increased happiness, releasing oxytocin, a hormone that signals trust, safety, and connection which is key to establishing and maintaining healthy relationships. It’s a win for giver and receiver.

Loving someone unconditionally means allowing them to feel love and show love in the way that speaks best to their heart.