Thirty years ago I was at Macys picking out towels to add to my wedding registry when I mentioned that our once soft and plush towels were no longer so great. The employee, a “helper” (but grouchy from the beginning), curtly asked me if I used dryer sheets? I replied “Yes…” and before I could finish she clapped back with an eye roll, “Didn’t YOUR mother ever teach that’s not the way to dry towels?”

I was taken back and said nothing. I froze. Young and naive me didn’t know how to handle the comment. I’ve never forgotten how little I felt in such a meaningless moment.

Fortunately, it’s never too late to take back our power. Here is my response that I should have said then, but can say it out loud myself now….

Inhale.

No Miss Sourpuss, my mother never taught me about dryer sheets but she did teach me how to be kind and respectful to others. My mom did teach me to do nice things and to share in excitement on a special day. My mom also taught me that we don’t judge or look down on others and that all humans deserve to feel welcomed and valued. So, to answer your mean-spirited question…. no my mother didn’t teach me about stupid dryer sheets because she was too busy teaching me about shit that really mattered. And while we’re at it, didn’t YOUR mother teach you not to be rude?

Exhale.

We often hold on to moments and think of replies we wish we said. It’s okay days, months or years later to finally reply. Write it down, put it on paper, and if it feels better tear it up, burn it, or drop it in the mail in an unaddressed envelope. Just get it out and release the negative by no longer holding it in.

Making the conscious decision to let go means accepting we have a choice. In every moment, we have that choice – to continue to feel bad about another person’s actions, or to start feeling good by taking responsibility for our own happiness, and not putting such power into the hands of another person.

We can change anything. It takes work and courage, but when we address old hurts, we find that our lives become less heavy, more enjoyable and so much more manageable.

If you’re holding on to an old wound or painful memory, write it down. Get it out. Address what you experienced. Take back your power. Then, with intention and purpose… let it go.