I’ve been a psychotherapist long enough to watch technology change the way our kids grow up.

First MySpace and Facebook. Then smartphones, Instagram, and TikTok.

Somewhere along the way, the internet stopped being something our kids logged onto. It became something they carried everywhere.

And with each new development came something else for parents to worry about.

Lately, I’m seeing more concerns about gambling in my practice, particularly among teenage boys and college-aged young men.

Here’s something most of us never imagined worrying about when our kids were little: our kids are now walking around with a casino in their pockets.

No trip to Las Vegas. No blackjack table. Just a phone, a betting app, and a few taps.

Sports betting has become so woven into our culture that it’s easy to overlook how quickly entertainment can become a serious problem. The commercials during games, the “free bet” offers, the friends comparing wagers. Even teenagers who aren’t old enough to legally gamble are growing up surrounded by it.

For a young adult, it can all seem harmless.

Until it isn’t.

It often starts small. Just for fun. Sometimes with a $10 bet on a football game.

An early win can make another bet feel tempting. A loss can bring the urge to win the money back. For some, betting stops being just entertainment and becomes something they struggle to control.

Gambling has a way of making the next bet feel like the solution to the problems the last one created.

And the ads keep coming. Another offer. Another opportunity. Another reminder of what they could win.

But for some, that initial excitement gives way to anxiety, secrecy, and shame.

They find themselves preoccupied with the next bet, worried about what they’ve lost, and desperate to win it back. They’re not just chasing the money anymore. They’re looking for relief from how they’re feeling.

That’s what I want parents to understand: this isn’t just about the money.

Gambling disorder is a recognized mental health condition, not simply a matter of willpower.

One of the things that concerns me most is how quietly this can happen. These aren’t necessarily young adults who have a history of making reckless decisions. Sometimes they’re the kids who have always been responsible, hardworking, and seemingly on the right track.

And now they’re struggling with something they never imagined could get so out of control.

The shame can be enormous.

Meanwhile, parents may notice unexplained requests for money, vague answers about where a paycheck went, or borrowing from friends. There may be slipping grades, secrecy, or sudden distance in a once open relationship.

By the time parents notice the financial problems, their child may already be carrying a great deal of distress. And the harder it feels to admit what’s happening, the harder it can be to ask for help.

So what can parents do?

Talk about it. Not with a lecture or an accusation, and not only after money has gone missing.

Make gambling part of the conversations you’re already having about alcohol, drugs, relationships, and financial responsibility. Be willing to feel a little uncomfortable.

Ask whether betting is common among their friends, fraternity brothers, teammates, or roommates. Ask what they think of the ads, or whether they’ve tried the apps themselves.

You don’t have to ask everything at once and try to start with curiosity.

And then listen.

You might be surprised by just how normal all of this has become in their world.

Not every young adult who places a bet will develop an addiction. But something this accessible and socially acceptable deserves our attention.

If your child is struggling, compassion and accountability can live in the same conversation. You can love them deeply without repeatedly paying off gambling debts. Rescuing someone from every consequence isn’t the same as helping them recover.

And please involve a mental health professional who understands gambling problems. A promise to stop, while well intentioned, may not be enough.

Parenting young adults requires a different kind of courage. We have to be willing to ask uncomfortable questions, hear answers we might not like, and resist the urge to fix everything.

Our goal isn’t to raise kids who never make mistakes. It’s to raise kids who know when they need help and aren’t too afraid to ask for it.

Sometimes the most important conversations begin with, “Hey, can I ask you something?”

And then being willing to hear the answer.

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If you or someone you love is struggling with gambling, free, confidential support is available 24/7. Call or text the National Problem Gambling Helpline at 1-800-MY-RESET (1-800-697-3738). Parents and other loved ones can reach out, too.