One of the best things about my job is when I get to be part of unexpected, but very profound, moments in peoples lives.
On occasion, I’ve been known to do “the boogie dance” in a session, where I stand up and do a little jitter bug to express my joy in whatever they shared. I look really(!!!) silly but some moments deserve to be celebrated.
Last week one of my precious 19 year-old
clients got “the boogie dance”. Through her laughter at me for being such a dork, I could see a sense of pride in her eyes and it was well worth making a fool of myself.
She knew it was a big moment.
She was raised in an affluent area that emphasized “bigger is better”. She saw people striving to display their wealth through material things and with the idea that the more you had, the cooler you were. Where she grew up, affluence is normal and status played a big role in connections with others.
But she knew that didn’t align the core of who she really is. She is wise, a deep thinker, eager to look inside herself, tender hearted, and creative. Sadly those qualities felt like they mattered less than the kind of car you drive or the name on your purse.
She was bound and determined to work in therapy to change that.
And she has.
What earned the illustrious boogie dance?
A simple comment she made: “I broke up with status”.
Cue the confetti.
We live in a materialistic & visual world which seems to worship youth, beauty, appearance and wealth. It’s easy to get caught up in chasing those things instead of what truly matters. When we step back and reevaluate, we realize that genuine love, purpose, self compassion, peace and finding like-minded people who support and appreciate you for who you are is what makes one wealthy and attractive.
Let’s be honest though- it is human nature to care about what people think about us. And we are also human for wanting approval and adoration from others. It feels good to be seen and to be liked. All of us are influenced at an unconscious level.
But when that drives who you are, it’s easy to lose sight of our vision and our own dreams. It’s easy to plug other peoples opinion of us as having more value than our own opinion of who we are.
So what does breaking up with status mean? It means caring less about things and more about meaningful interactions. It means valuing experiences over possessions. It means dressing to impress… yourself. It means speaking and behaving with conviction and doing what makes your heart happy even if other people think it’s weird. It means following your dream and your vision of what you want your life to look like instead of letting others determine your course.
It means less comparison and more calm, courage, cohesion, and compassion.
In truth, don’t we all need a little more of those in our life?
Breaking up with status says that our most precious commodities can’t be bought or ordered or found on Amazon.
It’s says “Just be you”.
Sometimes our breakups are break throughs and our aha moments are simple sentences that release us from something that has been holding us back. Sometimes our most powerful moments rewire our understanding of ourselves or the world and we realize that where or how we were raised does not define who we become.
When we let go of status, that boogie dance… well, it hits just right.