Last week I injured my neck- the kind of pain that takes your breath away.
My husband sat with me while I cried.
He massaged my shoulders, ran to the pharmacy, set up supplies next to the couch, bought a heating pad, asked the trainers at work how to help, and checked in constantly to see if I needed anything.
And he did all of this during football season. (IYKYK.)
I found myself watching him and thinking, How did I get so lucky to have someone so caring and steady to walk through life with?
If I could offer one piece of advice to my younger self — or to anyone just starting out — it would be this:
Choose wisely.
Choosing your life partner is one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make. It will shape your mental health, your finances, your family, your career, and your overall sense of peace.
Here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Don’t ignore red flags. Period.
- Choose connection, not distraction. Don’t pick someone because you’re lonely or bored. When we settle for “something is better than nothing”, we end up resenting the person we chose.
- Pick someone who celebrates your growth- not someone threatened by it.
- Don’t think you can change someone. They are who they are.
- Find someone who fights fair. Healthy couples approach conflict with a genuine desire to understand—not to win. They know how to ask for and offer forgiveness.
- Choose someone who brings out the best in you.
- Aim for calm over chaos. They should complement your life, not complicate it.
- Align in values. Share a vision for how you want to live, treat others, and what truly matters.
- Keep dating each other. Love grows through intention, not extravagance.
- Pay attention to the little things. Notice whether they ask for your opinion, listen to your thoughts, and include you in decisions. Watch how they treat restaurant staff or store clerks.
- Choose someone you’d pick to be your friend.
Because here’s the truth: there’s no such thing as a low-maintenance relationship. Every relationship takes effort. It asks for trust, forgiveness, empathy, vulnerability, passion, and the willingness to evolve…together.
But when you choose someone who shows up for you on the hard days (even during football season), the work doesn’t feel like work.
It feels like harmony.
It feels like teamwork.
It feels like home.
So choose wisely, my younger friends.
The right person can’t take away the pain in life, but they’ll hold your hand through it.
And that changes everything.
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