Recently, a woman approached me and asked a question I think so many moms quietly carry:

“Why does it sometimes feel like my daughter hates me? She’s 16 and we used to be so close. Now, she’s mean and doesn’t like me.”

I looked at her face; her eyes were holding back a storm.

Before I said a word, I gave that mom a hug—a long, tight squeeze.

Then I assured her: “Your daughter doesn’t hate you. I promise.”

The truth is, teenagers long to be loved and cared for by their parents. They want to be nurtured and supported. They want to feel valued and appreciated. But they also want to spread their wings and feel independent—making their own decisions, even when those decisions turn out to be mistakes. They want to learn through experience, not through our advice.

And they’re doing all of this with a body that is surging, changing, and completely hijacked by hormones.

That’s the piece that makes us, as parents, feel like we’re walking on eggshells. We just never know how they’re going to respond. Sometimes we get a hug. Sometimes we get an eye-roll. Sometimes we get a heavy sigh and a dramatic exit.

Teenagers don’t hate their parents—we’re just the safe targets for all the chaos they can’t unload anywhere else. We’re the ones collecting the sighs, the eye-rolls, and the award-winning door slams.

We are the emotional recycling bin.

Sometimes the best thing we can do is remember how we were as teenagers. I loved my mom, but there were plenty of days I didn’t like her. I knew she gave good advice, but I didn’t always want it. I respected her, but I was also a pain in the ass. I valued her, but I certainly didn’t treat her like that.

If your teen is moody, dramatic, or seems allergic to your very existence—take heart. You’re not alone and you’re probably on the right track.

Pause and take a breath.

Sometimes the best step is to step back. When in doubt, pour yourself some coffee, eat the good chocolate you have hidden, and keep your sense of humor close— it’s an important survival tool for these years.

And let’s not forget that behind every teenage sigh is a kid who still needs you, even if they won’t admit it.

One day (usually after they move out and realize laundry doesn’t do itself), they’ll tell you just how much they love and appreciate you. Until then, the eye-rolls and dramatic exits are just part of the process—messy proof that they’re growing up, while you remain their anchor.

Hang in there, Momma. Don’t take it personally. They don’t hate you—they just trust you enough to test their wings. And even on the hardest days, you are still their safe place, the one they push against because they know you won’t let go. That kind of trust is love, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.